My Dreams Versus My Reality, From a Parenting Perspective

I like to say that motherhood drives me insane while maintaining my sanity. I think that nails it. I can’t imagine my life without my four boys and the beautiful mess of our current suburban life, but I do dream (guiltily) of the day when my husband and I will wave goodbye to our youngest and pack all of our belongings onto an RV and set out to live our own life. Or maybe it will be a yurt in the forest. That’s a long dream away… it has some time to develop.

Raising our boys in this day and age has been an ongoing battle of conscience. When we first got married and started on our family, monetary restraints kept us from purchasing the land that we wanted for our boys so desperately. So we settled into suburbia, where the jobs were plentiful and the rent cheap. Now, 12 years later, our boys are settled into their lives and the community, and it doesn’t seem to be in their best interest to leave the life that we’ve established here.

My dreams of country rough-and-tumble boys have moved aside for the reality of our tech-savvy genius bookworms. They don’t know how to make forts from wood they’ve cut themselves. They do know how to build forts on the computer with their physics and engineering games. Not quite as useful from a survival standpoint, but they are establishing the tools that will help them to survive in this new world of technology. I do rail against that a lot of the time, but not educating them in how our culture is beginning to work would be to put them at a disadvantage, knowing that they are who they are.

One of the hardest parts of parenting that I’ve experienced so far is reconciling the person that you want your child to be with the person that they really are, deep down inside.

My boys and me in Yellowstone NP
See the disgruntled look in the middle there? That’s what we get for taking the technology away to view natural wonders. Yellowstone NP, 2012

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3 thoughts on “My Dreams Versus My Reality, From a Parenting Perspective

  1. I completely agree with what you say in this post:) We actually did the country-living thing, and now we’re happy suburbanites. And yes, I had to accept that my kids would develop their own interests, sometimes coinciding with mine and sometimes not.

  2. Your comment was very well put, Belinda. We have 9 kids, and the first half were mostly raised in the country, the second half in a city neighborhood. Different worlds, with different opportunities– both have been good. Also, technology and our culture has changed much over the past 2 decades, and that could have never been anticipated; so it’s good to have flexibility.

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